Coffee Log, Day 305


Coffee: Americano, Caribou Coffee; simple, classic stuff. I had a talk with the barista about holiday travel. She’s headed three hours in heavy traffic after the sun goes down. But when she talked about getting home, her eyes lit up like high-beams. It was the warmest cup of coffee I’ve had in a while.

I got up and shaved and took a shower even though it’s a Sunday. I wanted to get ready for something, though I hadn’t worked out exactly what.

I drove to the Caribou for coffee and lemon bread for breakfast, took it home, and instead of setting up my spoils in the single room that’s mine in this shared apartment, I took the food to the dining room where we’ve got two picture windows that let whatever light in. It was still early, not quite nine, I was the only one awake. I ate the pastry and sipped the Americano. I read a book a friend had given me. Slowly, the sun crept up in the window and got hot on my neck. It was a simple, lovely morning. For once, I didn’t check the time.

And so Sunday rolled out like an old carpet. Christmas is coming, I’m starting a new position at work tomorrow, but that’s all just birds on the horizon diving for the ocean – I was comfortably on shore today.

I finished the book and started another. I pulled out an old laptop that my mother gave me (mine died a while ago) and got some writing done. Like things you’re pinning to a clothesline, my roommates came in and out. L came over. We talked and played a couple rounds of Mario Party. When the sun was setting, I had dinner with R at this Mexican joint before he headed home.

Holidays are buzz and bustle. But they’re also time to take the batteries out of the clock. I’ve been running a lot lately – sometimes in the most literal sense – and it was nice to have a day to settle down.

Novel Count: 7,442

Currently Reading: My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness, Kabi Nagata; A short manga, a gift from a friend; direct and emotional; a catalogue of depressive tendencies; endearing; pink and white art, overly cute, intentionally so; so specific it became universal. I recommend it.

Support Relief for Family Suffering at the Border – RAICES DONATION CAMPAIGN

Now this relaxation of the mind from work consists on playful words or deeds. Therefore it becomes a wise and virtuous man to have recourse to such things at times.

Thomas Aquinas

Coffee Log, Day 295


Coffee: Bolivian Medium-Dark, Trader Joe’s Brand; I brewed the pot late and took a thermos to work; it was a wet rainy morning and I sipped it black; bitter enough to cut the cold.

Sometimes getting sick is exactly what you need.

For the past few weeks I’ve been running myself empty. I’d get up early and go to sleep late. I tore holes in my novel and patched them up and tore them again. I was thinking about January, about the new year, about who I’d like to be when the date changes. I was thinking about the farther future and how it’s like crossing a desert: you can see the mountains in the distance but they never seem to be getting any closer.

Not a productive place to be.

Sickness trumps everything. The bug gets in bed with you and when you wake up your whole body is gooed over. You aren’t a banker, a writer, a runner, a dater, you’re just sick. The most difficult thing in the world is refilling your cup of water. Every night is swampy with half-dreams.

But then you sneeze it out. Three boxes of kleenex later and you’re a changed person. You’re lighter, freer somehow. You got rid of something bad.

I’m still sick but I’m on the tail end of it. I’ve got that spring in my brain. In a day or two, I’ll sit down and type something and maybe it won’t look like anathema. I’ll wake up early and understand the blessing and power of being up before the sun.

Novel Count: (on hiatus while I recover from this cold)

Currently Reading: Cherry, Nico Walker (Finished! Mixed feelings overall; I’ll try to get to a review this weekend)

Support Relief for Family Suffering at the Border – RAICES DONATION CAMPAIGN

This is very important — to take leisure time. Pace is the essence. Without stopping entirely and doing nothing at all for great periods, you’re gonna lose everything…just to do nothing at all, very, very important. And how many people do this in modern society? Very few. That’s why they’re all totally mad, frustrated, angry and hateful.

Charles Bukowski

Coffee Log, Day 72


Coffee: Organic Bolivian Blend, Trader Joe’s brand

There’s a cadre of dishes plotting in my room. It’s my fault, really. I’ve been negligent taking them to the dishwasher and now they’re lined up for revolution. No stopping now, I guess. Long live the rebellion!

I go through runs of keeping things neat and together and runs of bunkering down against mounting chores. I’m always happiest when I’m neat and together but I always think I’ll be happier letting something go, taking a break. Break-taking is necessary but the trick is knowing when and how to take one. It’s a tough trick, hard to master, much like walking tight-rope or taming lions.

Life and leisure are two wide escapes from each other. We have one but always want the other.

Currently Reading:
The Pardoner’s Tale, by John Wain

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“It’s good to leave your room super-messy when you’re away. Whoever tries to break into your room will think it has already been ransacked.” – Douglas Adams