Coffee Log, Year 2, Day 186


Coffee:  Maxwell House Master Blend, Office Coffee

I had a dark lager as the sun went down. That’s the end of that sentiment.

A kid I knew in high school thought he could summon something. An angel, a devil, none of us ever knew, but he was convinced. Well, he was convinced in the way every kid kids themselves: in on the joke so long that you stop laughing. One day, he brought fake blood to school and we had a seance in Spanish class. Our teacher was too busy wondering why he’d left his pregnant partner in Colombia to notice.

Later, that same kid stabbed another kid with a pencil.

We’ve all got problems.

I met a couple who were fifteen years apart in age. I thought they were mother and son until she said ‘This is my fiance.’ The couple commutes from the beach each week, traveling up the mouth of the Cape Fear river into it’s Piedmont esophagus. I cracked some jokes that got them laughing. Their laughs sounded the same, that’s how I knew they loved each other.

This week, an astronaut was charged with identity theft and fraud while she was stationed in space. It’s a big case because no-one’s committed crimes in space before. In orbit, her heart was getting weightless so she stole from an estranged partner. Confronted with the void, it’s our vices that fill us up.

Currently Reading: Queen, Suzanne Crain Miller

Support Relief for Family Suffering at the Border  – RAICES DONATION CAMPAIGN

No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.

Bertrand Russell, On Education

Coffee Log, Year 2, Day 153


Coffee: Pike Place, Apartment Lounge Blend

I had a friend who launched rockets. He does other things now, but he used to put satellites in orbit, or point ships at the space station. I thought that was cool. It seemed like something to be a bridge-maker toward the final frontier.

But space isn’t how we all imagine it, really.

I’ve been seeing lots of news about the 50th anniversary of the moon landing. Interviews with astronauts, articles about the rigorous (and delicate) science, even some conspiracy theories. Not since Trump’s ill-advised ‘Space Force’ have the outer bounds beyond our tiny planet seen so much coverage. I haven’t read many of the articles, only stolen glances at the pictures, but it feels hopeful to think about people who broke the boundaries of human experience, and those who are doing so right now again and again.

And it’s romantic, but it shouldn’t be, because space isn’t what we want it to be.

We come to the notion of outer space seeking the best parts of ourselves. Technological marvels, the vast and glittering worlds of 70’s sci-fi. A limitless place to paint ourselves over and over, the hope of human renewal on a galactic scale.

When we look up, though, into the blackest night skies, and when we step out into the stars, there’s more emptiness than anything. There’s a crisp, barren beauty to Mars and an awful violence to Venus. But they never know each other, never touching, never holding hands, separated by blank space, whispering nothing. The scary thing is that this is a better reflection of us – multiple minds divided by the unbreachable expanse; galaxies you’ll never see.

I think it’s beautiful we made it to the moon. I think we should keep trying to go farther. But I think the lessons aren’t all bright ones, and the human heart is as much the empty parts and barren planets as it is a flickering sun.

Currently Reading: Queen, Suzanne Crain Miller

Support Relief for Family Suffering at the Border  – RAICES DONATION CAMPAIGN

Not just beautiful, though–the stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they’re watching me.

Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore